It is possible to be married, but not a team. Marriage operates best when you see the two of you as a team. Some people have created a five, ten, even a fifteen year plan for their marriage. Do whatever works best for your marriage. The key to working as a team is to work in the areas of your strength. The areas you are weak in God has designed your spouse to be strong. Instead of complaining about what he or she doesn’t do, allow them to do what they are good at doing. For example, Jonathan rarely cleans at home, however, because he works so hard in his business I am able to stay home with our children and homeschool them. So, he doesn’t work inside the home, and I don’t work outside of the home, but everything still manages to get done! I want to share with you what Jonathan and I do that helps us operate as a team in our marriage. I created the acronym F.O.C.U.S. When we focus on our marriage we will develop a strong, healthy, long-lasting, peaceful, and enjoyable marriage. Here are five tips to building a strong marriage in the form of the acronym F.O.C.U.S
- F– Fighting doesn’t solve anything. In Isaiah 30:15 the bible says, “in quietness and in confidence shall be your strength.” The two of you are strong when you have the same goal in mind. Everything doesn’t have to be equal! Remember the goal is to get it all done. If you are able to do more, then do more.
- O– Overcome obstacles by looking for ways to compliment each other. In Ecclesiastes 4: 9 we are reminded of this, “ Two are better than one; because they have a good reward for their labour. Center your attention on being a team. Ask yourself these two questions each day. How can I help today? What wasn’t my spouse able to complete today? If possible, consider completing the incomplete task the following day.
- C- Communicate with one another. Talking about everything doesn’t always feel good, but the results are wonderful. Avoid problems by planning the week ahead of time. Use a calendar, this will help you to see if there are any conflicts coming up in your schedule. The more you are able to plan your week out the more smoothly your week will run because you can ask for your spouses help ahead of time. Remember! “You have not because you ask not” James 4:2
- U– Understand when your spouse has given all they can to the marriage and cut them a break. Nagging, insulting, and even ignoring will not give you the results you want from them. It is more common for women to nag and complain, but women it doesn’t do any good. In 1 Peter 3:1 we are given this advice, “Wives, in the same way submit yourselves to your own husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives,
- S- Serve each other. Life is better when you seek to be a blessing rather than be blessed. “It is more blessed to give than to receive.” (Act 20:35) Look for ways to make your spouses life easier. If you do this you can’t help but have a peaceful home.
If you see your spouse needs help, then help. It’s that simple. If you were playing football, and the ball was thrown to your teammate, and you were standing near by and could see they were not looking in the right direction. Would you catch the ball for them or would you let the ball drop? Chances are you would catch the ball for them because you want to win the game. Well, you and your spouse are on the same team. If you can see they are struggling in a certain area, catch the ball! In other words, help them out.
WWW.ChristianMarriageHQ.com Challenge: It’s time to bring some F.O.C.U.S back into your marriage. Sit down with your spouse and sort out the work according to what makes sense for the two of you. Not according to what worked in your parents marriage, or what you saw on television, not even what you believe was done in the bible times. What works for YOUR marriage?
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