Most marriages begin with a lot of passion and intimacy similar to the passion found in the book Song of Solomon 1:2-4.
She[a]
2 Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth—
for your love is more delightful than wine.
3 Pleasing is the fragrance of your perfumes;
your name is like perfume poured out.
No wonder the young women love you!
4 Take me away with you—let us hurry!
Let the king bring me into his chambers.
But like anything else the excitement and passion will go away. Every marriage experiences a season of low sexual activity and sometimes we can be so busy that we do not realize that our sex life is dwindling. Life has a way of draining our sex drive through hard work, exhaustion, and business. However, God made us in such a way that one of us will desire an increase in love making, so when it is brought to our attention that more sex is needed we must do something about it. We are responsible for keeping each other from being tempted from outside sources. So we must do our part in keeping our spouses sexual satisfied, in doing this we will keep them from being easily tempted by another person. I know that it is not easy to muster up enough energy or desire for making love but we must try. Here are 5 tips that will help to increase the intimacy in your marriage.
1. Exercise together– This is a great way to increase the communication in your marriage. As you walk from equipment to equipment you can have a conversation without any pressure. Working out together will also help you think about your spouse in a sexual way. Some of the workout equipment offer a great view of your spouse’s body. Watching your spouse breathe heavily and dripping sweat can definitely trigger your mind to think about making love. Exercising also gives you more energy and the more energy you have the greater your sex life will be, because you will have energy for making love.
2. Be Helpful– I believe most women will agree with me that there is something sexy about watching your husband help out with the kids or around the house. Now it doesn’t exactly trigger a sexual desire for him but it definitely helps you have a better mood for having sex, even if you are tired. So help out with a task that is usually done by your spouse. The goal is to ease one of their burdens.
3. Give An Unexpected Gift– While you are at the store buy your spouse something that you know they particularly enjoy, like a favorite snack or drink. It doesn’t have to be food, you may want to buy them something they have wanted for awhile but have not been able to get for some reason. A gift for them is a pleasant surprise and it says ” I was thinking about you.” Knowing that your spouse was thinking about you when you were not around is a sure turn on.
4. Take Care of Your Appearance– If you do not feel desirable, you will not be desired. It is as simple as that, if you want your spouse to want you then you must feel good about yourself. One of the greatest turn on for most people is the confidence demonstrated by the opposite sex. I don’t know how to say it any other way then this, you must see yourself as someone worth desiring or your spouse won’t see you that way. So I’m sure you are probably asking the question, how can you make yourself feel desirable? Well, what it is about yourself that makes you feel unattractive? This will range from size, height, physical features, predictable routine and so on. Most things are possible to change if we are willing to work hard at it. While you are working on changing the thing that makes you feel undesirable, draw attention to what you love about yourself. This creates a confident vibe while you are working on building up your confidence. Remember everyone has something about themselves that they are not happy with. However, the people that appear confident have just decided to focus on the parts about themselves that they love.
5. Good Hygiene– Having a nice scent is important! For two reasons, you obviously took a shower so that means you are clean and if you are clean you are ready for action. Being ready is always a good thing because there is nothing more exciting then instant gratification. A nice smell combined with your love interest( also known as your spouse) has the ability to spark passion. You do not have to be a genius to understand that most people are not turn on by someone who smells badly. I say most people because what may smell badly to me, may not smell badly to you. When I was in high school there was a boy who intentionally did not wear deodorant, he believed that girls loved his natural scent. He was right, at least for the girls that he dated. However, I would caution you that most people prefer their spouse wear deodorant.
Challenge: The key to improving your sex drive or your spouses sex drive lies within you. When you figure out what makes you feel desirable, you will want to make love more often and you will be desired by your spouse. So if you want more intimacy with your spouse spend sometime making yourself more desirable. Understand that improving the quantity and quality of the sex within your marriage takes time. But if you are committed it is possible. Begin with the techniques above and see if you notice a change in your sex life.
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