In a previous post, I explained the roles of each spouse in a Christian marriage. I referenced the scripture passage Ephesians 5:21-32. God designed marriage in such a way that when we work together as a team we lack nothing. Realistically, most marriages are not in balanced. One spouse may be doing more than another or everyone is doing and no one is showing how much they need each other. I believe that is why marriages fall apart after so many years of being together.
For years the marriage is operating as team but no one is expressing how grateful they are to one another, and then one day the couple believes they would be better off without each other. Occasionally they realize how much they need each other and they get remarried. Are you getting tired of fulfilling your responsibility in your marriage? Whether because you are not being appreciated or you feel like it is too much work.
I have felt like this before. I found myself frustrated wanting Jonathan to show me more often that he appreciates all that I do for him and our family. The truth is, I was frustrated because I was not doing it for the Lord, I was doing it to get a response from Jonathan. I was reminded of this when I read Colossians 3:23 “Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters,” Whenever we do anything hoping that people will appreciate what we have done, we will find ourselves disappointed.
The things that the Lord requires from us are not always things that we realize we need, so it is hard for us to be thankful when we are not even aware that we need it. For example, the Lord requires that we talk about our disagreements each day. If we had our way we would rather not talk when we get upset. However, the Lord knows how important it is for us to communicate our disagreements each day.
We have to look at our role in our marriage as a requirement from God not as something we are doing for our spouse. Remember when you take care of your spouse you are not doing it for them, you are doing it to fulfill the promise you made to God when you married them. I discovered a technique that works for me. I call it the “Check Mark Technique.”
The Check Mark Technique is when you fulfill your responsibilities within your marriage because it’s your job. You do not look for a response from your spouse you just do it as unto the Lord. After you fulfill responsibility you can check it off as it being done that day. When you use the check mark technique you are able to say that you are doing your job, and you feel great because you know you are doing it.
When I began looking at my responsibilities as something you can check off, I immediately was filled with peace, because my joy did not depend on whether Jonathan acknowledged it or not. I am no longer looking for a response from Jonathan but rather I feel great inside knowing that the Lord is pleased that I am doing it for him and not a response from Jonathan.
Challenge: Use the “Check Mark Technique!” Try thinking about your responsibilities in a new way, whether it is for your marriage, family or job. Look at your responsibilities as being obedient to God and check them off one by one as you complete each assignment.
{ 0 comments… add one now }