We are constantly facing challenges within our Christian marriage. Some of the challenges come from outside forces like work, family, or even church. We allow our emotions to be displaced toward our spouse and we experience a struggle within our marriage. When outside forces have crept into your marriage it usually starts off as a conversation about what is bothering you, and winds up as an argument because the two of you do not see the situation the same way. Women have a tendency to want their husband to agree with them or at best understand why they feel the way they do. Men on the other hand were created to be solution oriented, which means they do not want to listen but rather resolve our issue. This is usually what causes a fight within our marriages because we are not viewing the situation in the same light.
This can become a problem when you have a good marriage. When you are actually married to your best friend, the two of you have very little to argue about with in your Christian marriage. However, there will always be something outside of your marriage that will try to divide the two of you. If you spend more time arguing about people or things outside of your marriage, then you open the door for the enemy to steal the peace within your marriage. Every marriage will face “down” moments. There will not be joy every moment of your marriage, but when your marriage is going through it doesn’t hurt to provide some happiness during those moments. It is a little reminder that says, “I still love you, and we’ll get through this together.” Here are a few tips that you can do during those moments where the fight is coming from within your marriage.
- Give Yourself Some Time! When we take time to think about what really happened, we can usually see the humor in the situation. For example, I do not know what it is about men, but when they cook they seemly use every dish in the house. This is hilarious! His idea of giving you a break from cooking is leaving you with all the dishes in the house to wash. While you are waiting to see the humor, focus on something positive. Instead of focusing on the amount of dishes you are left with to wash, try to think about his kind gesture of preparing a meal for you.
- Turn It Into A Joke! Just because it is a serious topic, it does not mean you have to say it in a harsh tone. Make a joke out of it. For example, say you want him to help a little more with the dishes. Put his dinner on something ridiculous, like a serving tray. He will probably laugh and look confused. While you are laughing say to him, “ I would put it on a plate, but all the dishes are dirty.” Now that the both of you are laughing, express your desires to him. If you make a joke out of it he will be more willing to help with the dishes than if you nag him about it.
- Be Silly Once In Awhile! Adults can be so serious. The key to laughing more in your marriage is to not take yourself so seriously. Give yourself permission to laugh. Every so often, try to do something your spouse would not expect you to do. For example, if your spouse wants you to take a shower with him, get in fully clothed, minus your socks and shoes of course! This will shock him and make him laugh. After you had a good laugh remove the rest of your clothes and enjoy the shower!
As I stated before, some fights come from outside of our marriage. If you and your spouse are fighting over things outside of your marriage, then there is hope! In a previous post my husband and I explained “How To Save Your Christian Marriage” Part 1 and Part 2. I believe that when the fights are coming from outside of your marriage you have a greater chance of restoring your marriage. All we have to do is to decide to not let other’s influence our marriage, and then make a plan to end their influence within our Christian marriage. When there are struggles within our marriage it does not have to lead to divorce. The truth about divorce is that it can only occur if the two of you are Married, But Not a Team. Divorce has no power, if the two of you decide to be a team! The challenges we face can actually make our marriage stronger if we allow it too.
When you learn How to Pray to God As One, he can use the attacks from the outside to make a strong foundation on the inside. In 2 Samuel 4-5 King David was in a fight. His enemies thought they had stopped his success. They even mocked him, “You’ll never come in here,” they told him. “Even the blind and lame could keep you out!” David prayed to the Lord and the Lord gave him a plan and built a strong team for him. The story goes on to say, David succeeded in overtaking his enemies and “David became greater and greater, for the Lord God of heaven was with him.” 2 Samuel 5:10 If you allow God to speak to you when outside forces are overwhelming your marriage, then the Lord will actually make your marriage stronger because of it.
www.ChristianMarriageHQ.COM Challenge: Take a look at the struggles in your marriage. Make a list of all the things overwhelming your marriage. Are the majority of the things on the list coming from outside influences? Decide today to take back the peace within your marriage. Pray to God and ask him to show you how the two of you can have a stronger marriage.
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