Celebrating your spouse for a particular reason, such as for a birthday or a holiday is wonderful. We get to show them they are worth our time and effort. They can count on us to plan something for them on that special day. But what about the other days of the year? There is something even more wonderful than expected celebrations, and that is the “just because” moments. When we do things for our spouse “just because” it has an added excitement. It silently says, “you’re on my mind” and “I think you’re amazing.” These moments are important especially the longer you have been married. There are so many wonderful things about being married for a long period of time. There is a comfort in knowing that your spouse knows every side of you and still loves you anyway. Marriage creates a comfortable atmosphere.
The biggest reward to marriage is getting to a place where you are comfortable with each other and the way you do things. When you are comfortable in your marriage, you have gotten to a place where you are no longer bothered by the small things. Instead of letting the small things irritate you, the two of you have found a way to adapt. I believe comfort comes when we begin to see our marriage as a puzzle that we both provide the pieces too. The small things reflect the piece of the puzzle that we can provide, to help our marriage operate more smoothly. Think of an area that your spouse is not so great in completing. A few examples could be maybe you do not like the way the clothes are folded, the way the bed is made each morning, the clothes left on the floor, almost empty containers left around, or make-up left around the sink. Whatever the small things are in your marriage, you can choose to yell, complain or you can quietly correct them yourself. When we and our spouse adapt to the “weaknesses” or less desirable traits of our each other, we are working together to complete the puzzle of oneness.
Becoming one is a great feat that requires both spouses to give their all to the marriage. Comfort is a good indication that the two of you have learned to adapt to one another. There is a downside to becoming comfortable, and that is we stop taking an interest each other. A great way to encourage ourselves and our spouse to keep trying within our marriage is by periodically providing a “just because” moment. These moments do not have to major. How do we create these moments?
- Listen to them– Most people tend to verbally express the things that are on their mind. What has your spouse been complaining about? If you can help in that area, then do it for them. What has your spouse mentioned they wanted to do, eat, or go to lately? Surprise them and do it with them, pick them up their favorite snack, or take them to that place.
- Create a new experience for the both of you– something that leaves the two of you uncomfortable and totally relying on each other. If the two of you enjoy doing physical activities, then try a completely new activity. Limit how many of your “just because moments” are familiar to just you. These experiences are nice, but it is nicer when the two of you are experiencing something new together. However, if you have done something before and you believe your spouse would enjoy it, invite them to do it with you! These moments are important as well because you are sharing what makes you happy with your spouse.
Christian Marriage Headquarters Challenge: Take the opportunity to plan a “Just Because” moment for your spouse this week.
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