Many of us speak too soon during a conversation with others. I have learned the hard way many times. I have often committed myself to helping someone, only to realize later that I am already obligated somewhere else. When this happens I only have two options either I run myself into the ground or I disappoint someone.
I have learned to be more careful and honest during conversations. My desire is to help as many people as I can, but I must remember that I cannot support everyone all the time. I have now learned to say,” Let me talk to Jonathan first and I will get back to you.” I have also learned that everything I do affects those connected to me, mainly my family. Someone has to watch the kids while I am helping, so I speak with Jonathan first to see if it works with his schedule. This lets Jonathan and others know that my marriage comes first before anything else.
There was a time when people respected marriage. The wedding ring alone would cause the opposite sex to change the way they interacted with you once they have seen your ring. This is not entirely true anymore, people are more self consumed. The world has become more concerned about themselves and having whatever and whomever they desire. Now more than ever Christian marriages need to stand on the vows we have taken to one another when we exchanged our rings.
Jonathan is not a fan of rings or jeweler of any kind. When we got married he didn’t want to wear his ring. My argument was “women need to know you are married.” My thinking behind this was if they knew he was married they would leave him alone. I had no idea that a wedding ring doesn’t mean much to anyone other than the two people who made the vows.
Jonathan would take his ring off, often, for golf, lifting weights and even before bed. He has lost his ring a total of two times. The first time he lost his ring I wanted to get him one immediately, but he insisted he would find it. His argument has always been “the commitment to our marriage does not rest on the band, but on me.” After a month or so I realize that Jonathan was right. A wedding band is just a ring, it cannot make someone keep their vows or deter someone from fancying you.
I have come to understand that a happy marriage relies heavily on God, trust, commitment, and communication. God is the glue that holds marriages together for the Christian couple. Christians understand that the vows we have taken are first to God and then to each other. We understand that God instructs us to keep our vow to him in Matthew 5:33, “Do not break your oath, but fulfill to the Lord the vows you have made.”
As Christians, if we seek to obey God’s word to remain true to the oath we have taken, we will not have to worry about our wedding bands. Our commitment to God and each other will be so great that even when we our marriage is tested, we will not give into the temptation. As Jonathan would say, ultimately the choice to keep our marriage sacred is up to us, not our band or other people. God instructs us to “let our word be our bond.” Whatever we have committed to, we must remain true to it.
Christianmarriagehq Challenge: Try to keep the commitments you have made to your spouse, children, or others this week. You may find, that you become more cautious before making a commitment to anyone. When you force yourself to honor the commitments you have made, you become more aware of what you are saying to other people. In return you will learn to only commit when you know you can absolutely fulfill that obligation.
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